3645 BY 10. recording

It would be prudent to start with a quote "WoW so this is how it feels" Cause that's how I feel right now...

I did not sleep again but this time it was not for the fear of nightmares or my past but for the present... The future...

I am not entirely sure about yesterday? I mean it seems so unreal...

It may be hard to grasp but I did not see that coming and maybe that makes me naive but then let me be blissfully naive... Just this once?

I think I helped him with his mental relaxation *grins* although not in the way I planned for...
Everything just happened so fast... Well not everything *rolls her eyes in jest* but you know what i mean.

But it is like ever answer spurs a new question. Like every time i think I have him figured out he does something unexpected.
But there were things i indeed perceived correctly.

I am left confused and i am not even sure why...

I think I know know why the Sith are so obsessed with power cause it was like holding onto a lightning rod in a thunderstorm. Knowing that you eventually will get burned... but it was ecstatic.

I really need someone to talk to besides myself... Someone i can confide in and who is not just out to backstab me, but there is no one. I am amongst Sith a fact i must never forget...

We went to Korriban after and found Qarthan and Savih.. by all the darkness in the galaxy I still cant remember her name. They were sparring. It was a much longer and more fierce fight than the one between Legion and I.

I had to use all my focus to hide my emotions and not interfere but after the fight I was surprised to see that Legion hid his emotions so poorly but maybe he wasn't trying to. I wonder what their relation is for him to so openly show concern.

There was a woman there I have not seen before but we were not introduced, Legion left with them and I followed Qarthan back. I was not surprised that he could be so stonefaced and I cannot.
He could sense my frustration, over him being hurt, but his playful nature, when no one else is around, quickly made me forget...

I was so tired after yesterday but sleep would just not take me, making me toss and turn most of the night even though Qarthen tried to make me relax and fall asleep so i am afraid he didnt get much sleep either.

Now lets see what the next couple of days will bring...