Last night was a mess... again.. it seems to be a recurring theme in my life now...
Sav found me, and the anger he tried to hide from me because of what Qarthan had done to me was unmistakable, but he took my pain away, not all but most of it.
I was a mess, been sitting there in the darkness of the cliff side hiding ever since Qarthan left me, not sure what to do. But how did he find me?
He told him i needed to be alone and he accepted it but... the emptiness when he had gone was just crushing me, i went to his hanger but for the love of the stars I could not get my self to go to him.
He came out and I hid... Afraid that he could sense me...
But seeing him collapse, I could not hide... I was so afraid to loos him too, but there was nothing I could do... I felt so helpless... I am helpless...
I was just about to run to his ship and try to contact Bart in some way, thinking he must know what to do. But then he jolted and I jumped away. A few seconds later he awoke, disoriented but alright. I took him to the ship, made sure he was really alright again and made him tell me what by all of Malachor had happened.
The though I am left with now that he can break at any given time... That I am not strong enough to help him... the feeling of helplessness just growing stronger inside my heart... I need to do something... I cant just sit idly like some pretty thing and do nothing...
I fear and long to see Qarthan again, fear the coldness in his eyes but longing to just make sure he is in some way alright...
Well time to stat training... I should make him proud in some measurement if I pull this off right?
And at least the fighting will make me focus on something else.. Remove the pain and all the mess... if only for a while...
I didnt really sleep at all last night I sense his anger and his pain like it was my own and it just break me inside...
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